What? —

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How do we deal with what we feel in the moment? How do we decide how we can best approach what is bubbling up from within, playing with the emotions, pulling us in many directions. How do we accept the voice within that seems to stand behind and nudge us or even direct us with firm purpose? Where does all this come from, how does it emerge from seemingly nowhere and appear as though a wave pushing through an existing surf demanding such attention. How do we know it’s real, or correct, or the right direction, or something within toying with the possibilities that can lead to utter destruction.

Where are the instruments that keep us straight and level, that keep us oriented and out of a nose dive, or a spin that spirals to nowhere. Is it wisdom and experience that keeps us on track, or is it the very same sense that throws in a little bit of this or a little bit of that to stir the cauldron. Then with all that is going on, where does the third or fourth dimension emerge from that causes us to evaluate all the confusion. What pulls it all back into clarity, what guides us to move into the next moment without sliding off the edge into complete disorientation or mental vertigo? What is it that says enough, pull over to the side to a place of safety, a place where confusion abates and we are able to work with individual pieces. Or a place where we have to make a conscious decision to put thought down, where the clap of the hands can reignite a sense of clarity, or complete emptiness.

What happens when that clarity or need for cohesiveness eludes us and for some reason remains just beyond our reach. What is to be done when we know there must be an answer, when we know there is an answer, but we can’t find it? When the instruments seem to lie, when corrective inputs do not elicit expected responses and dimensions seem to close in and we cannot find the correct tool to fix the problem. And the voices from many levels now project their suggestions, and the logic seems to be missing, and the wave is too strong to fight as it passes over us. And tears well-up and we are at the point of utter resignation, a place where we believe the true meaning of the word “alone” no longer eludes us. The muscles are tense, the heart is pounding, and the stare is difficult when the eyes are in a distracted search. Then what ?????

WHAT? We come to the realization that each one of us is responsible for ourselves. We finally come to grips with the fact that we must live the life we have been given with the understanding we cannot do everything, but what we choose to do we must do well. And when we learn to quell the crowd that we have been taught to carry within us, the answers are there. And the coherence does exist when we teach ourselves that nothing moves forward when all the voices speak at the same time. Janis 1

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